Where We’re Going

The paint roller intermittently sprayed back tiny drops of exterior white paint onto my clothes as I gave a few aspects of my house the attention they needed. After living in this sweet, white cottage-like home on a quiet corner here in Georgia for over a year and a half, I am finally getting around to the last small touches that will make this house really feel like a home.

But, I am not making it a home for me. I am getting this house ready to sell. We love our neighbors and our neighborhood dearly. We love our church and community here deeply. I have been blessed with sweet fellowship everywhere we have lived and would point out that the people here are just unlike any I have ever known.

I often say this Georgia town is like the island of Malta for us. God led me in scripture to Acts 27 and 28 shortly after we arrived here. Malta was an island of hospitality and refreshing, though not without trial, for the Apostle Paul after his shipwreck as a prisoner en route to Rome. After years of transition after transition, it would seem that our calling here was a sort of shipwreck onto these Peachtree shores.

While I could elaborate on that point for pages, I have something else to share at this time.

The past few weeks have been full of prayer, fasting, quilting, nursing, painting, cleaning, quarantining, and more. As I washed another load of linens and painted another corner in need, I was reminded of a talk I spoke last year at this time to the women of One Church. The topic was Heart Care and the points were deeply personal.

In that talk, I shared my testimony. I shared how, as a teenage girl, I encountered what a true disciple’s life looked like. In turn, that led me to see how much of my everyday life was untouched by the truth that I followed Jesus and had been made new in Him. Swift changes followed to refocus my gaze and fix my eyes on the things above. Repentance. Grace. Repentance. Grace. A new rhythm for a fledgling disciple.

I also shared about sanctification and how God showed me that being made holy would become more and more natural as I spent time in the light. Darkness would never satisfy me again, never truly satisfy what had tasted and seen the light of Christ. All of my days now focus on being found in Him and being made holy as He is holy.

All of that repentance, grace, sanctification, and more would become the heart of my talk last January: Heart Care.

We spend so much time talking about self-care these days. I mean, I am writing this from my bed at 6:30pm because self-care is important and this mama needed to lay down today. What I have learned is this:

As much as self-care is important, heart care is the most critical part of self-care.

Real self-care is heart care.

I often think of the Proverbs 31 woman. After reading this chapter of Proverbs for myself, I found a woman so different from what I had heard about. I found a small business woman who works into the night to provide for her family and household. I found a woman dedicated to others and whose husband sits at the gate regaling her nobility. I found a woman who was meek and driven, gentle and strong, kind and powerful.

And I discerned that the Proverbs 31 woman must have had a well cared for heart. We hear all about guarding our heart and that is essential! Proverbs 4:23 says “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” We must do that. But we also must care for what is in our hearts. This woman laughed without fear of the future. That tells me her heart was cared for, living from a place of trust and faith instead of fear or anxiety.

I think we can get stuck on the word “guard” in that last verse. We focus on what we let in or keep out. We don’t do it perfectly, though. None of us do. So, we have to then look inward often to see what has slipped through and muddied the flowing waters within us. We have to, with Christ, purify our hearts (James 4:8).

That inward inventory and cleaning out is heart care. And it has to be done often, not just when we are getting ready to show it off for others (says the woman that just repainted and cleaned a home better than she ever did for herself because others are coming to judge it). I so passionately believe heart care must be a daily, moment-by-moment work that I wrote a book of essays about it last year! This is important!

The truth is, heart care is done best when we are alone with the Living God. While it can certainly be done with a licensed counselor or dear friend, we must have to have time to rest alone in prayer to complete a spiritual examination of our hearts and ask the Lord to do a work in us we shouldn’t try to do on our own. He will show up and transform us. We watch Him clear, heal, renew, restore, refresh, transform, and do more than we could ask or imagine. We store up His Word in there, that we might not sin against Him (Psalm 119:10) and we continually reassess as we run this race with endurance (Hebrews 12:1-2).

Well, our family has done a lot of reassessing. In the past year, we have reassessed our personal and family boundaries. We have reassessed our needs and family dynamics. We have reassessed our calling. And the Lord has been clear about where we are going.

So, where are we going? To what do our eyes look, now?

Home. We are going to heaven, eternally. We have eyes fixed on heaven.

But, in the meantime, we are going home to Tennessee. I’m pursuing full time nursing again and stepping back into the career God has clearly called me to with the support of my dedicated husband and supportive family there. We haven’t called Middle Tennessee home in 4 years, two kids, and more. So much has changed since we packed up and moved to Ireland in 2018. Much of that has been unexpected, some of it has been deeply grieving, all of it has been within the providential will of God.

We are two imperfect people made new in Christ leading a small tribe of imperfect little ladies and their dog, Hickory, to the Cross of Jesus every chance we get. And we even do that imperfectly. But, we endeavor to do better each day.

Tomorrow, with new mercy and a fresh cup of coffee, I will lift my eyes up to the hills of Tennessee and watch the Lord make the path straight before me. I hope it is to a quiet, godly life. I pray it is to holy, hidden moments of obedience. I’m ready to be the wife, mom, nurse, quilter, writer, and good friend God has given me to be. I’m ready to be me in Jesus’ Name. No apologies, just goodness and mercy.

Here’s to the next chapter. May it be blessed and may we not forget it.

In the Love of Christ,

Hannah